Today I spent the day tripping around our wonderful city seeing what the Melbourne Writers Festival 2019 had to offer me, and I debuted my new Ginga Ninja tshirt just for the occasion.
So I began the day with a hot choc and a read at Moat cafe/bar at State Library, mmmmm always a good time for a hot choc since I'm not a fan of real coffee. The on to my first session of the day.
Dating in the Digital Age - now this was an interesting panel discussion. Four different ideas on how digital dating should and does work and none of them seemed to be actual digital dates if the discussions were anything to go by. While each did seem to have ideas on how it should work, none seemed to actually have experience on how it does work. I mean there was talk of etiquette but this mostly revolved around having enough manners to answer a message when it's received....... as opposed to oh I don't know, actually having some class and manners when interacting online. You know, those little things like actually reading a profile before hitting a girl up with a "hey babe". Or maybe asking name and hobbies before her sexual history and preferences. Not one panelist mentioned the BIG FAT LIE factor that online dating seems to be rife with..... like the man I met online and was seeing casually for weeks who claimed to have been divorced for 18 years and never had kids...... who in fact was divorced twice (once only a few months previously) and had a 7 year old. OK so I'll admit I'm totally disillusioned by digital dating - I mean men seem to think it's ok to use the digital forum to behave in ways that are not acceptable in the real world.
It was also interesting that one panelist is a huge fan of googling an online interest and cyber stalking and being stalked to 'cut out the middle man' and skip the small talk......I mean where would dating and getting to know someone be in person without small talk. Your online presence is not who you are, it's just one facet of many. Mine (including this blog) shows only part of who I am. I once got chatting online with a potential interest only to have him tell me that after looking at my FB posts he doubted I could 'keep up' with a conversation with him and he doubted I could converse on any topics of depth. WTF just because I like to post doing silly stuff with my sister or romance book reviews doesn't mean I'm not actually intelligent, and well versed in a myriad of topics. MORON!!!!!
Anyway the topic of digital dating is always going to be one that many have differing views on, it's just the panel didn't seem to have anything bad to say, give me a good digital dating horror story any day! The big take away from the session - "Stay sexy and don't get murdered." https://www.amazon.com.au/Adventures-Online-Dating-Julie-Particka-ebook/dp/B07JM17M9
Then after an early lunch it was onto my next session.......
A Swelling in his Loins - A panel discussion on sex in romance writing and the many euphemisms for genitalia. Fucking Hilarious !!!!!! The panelists were all full of funny anecdotes - "purple headed warrior" anyone. Loved hearer how different authors go about writing sex scenes, it never occurred to me that some don't write them along with the body of a story but just leave it out and go back and write all the sexy bits at once at the end and slot them in where needed. But then others write them as the story goes telling a story from start to finish without hopping around.
The panelists also touched on consent - a hugely important topic which I've found written in good ways and also not written at all, or implied at the end of what can only be described as a rape scene but made 'consensual' by giving the woman an orgasm or two. (still rape in my opinion) The fact that one panelist loves to add in a foil square or some sort of condom reference to scenes was also really pleasing to me. While authors worldwide are about protection I've found Aussie authors are way more open and verbal about it. Aussie authors often have condoms as swag at cons whereas American authors and readers alike are usually stunned to hear about prophylactic swag!
I must say though that tragically I have a feeling that #rimmingseason will soon become a thing. One panelist says that when the 'little bottle of oil' is introduced he just yawns (mm historical fiction) and he's all about a mouth and a bit of spit........EWWWWWW! Not don't get me wrong I'm not against MM scenes, or even anal sex (the GRN is as much about the kink as the next romance reader) I'd prefer a little bottle of oil any day. I'm sorry but if you're spitting on any bit of me (in person or in a romance novel) then that's a deal breaker and total turn off. Spit stays in the mouth even during anal sex - just saying!
And what visit to the MWF would be complete without a wander around the State Library and the obligatory selfie in the dome and quick visit to Readers bookshop.
So I'll finish with my quote of the day......."YADA YADA YAYA, SEX STUFF"
